Magi Goes To Church Part II
As the words “my cup runneth over” were uttered by the congregation, the presence that I felt intensified and it seemed as if the building moved, I looked up toward the ceiling, it seemed to be shaking. Three other people, I found, were looking up. One was the female singer, one was the female minister, and one was a man that I did not know.
Then the Apostles’ Creed was spoken. While the words, “…the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting” came…as soon as the word resurrection was uttered I felt lit up. That is, I felt all at once light and heavy, powerful and weak. I looked up and the female minister was looking at me and she nodded. I closed my eyes again and stayed there, working on simply becoming more aware. Children were starting to cry and I sent words to them in my head to help them, so they may listen to the words and remember that they will see their grandfather again every day in every thing there is on this Earth, for he has passed into immortality that while we may not always see into, we shall always feel and see the manifest of our loves greatness in everything we touch.
The obituary came and the time of sharing. One of Frank’s daughters got up. On a personal note this daughter is about late 40’s mid 50’s, she did not always have a good relationship with the family…and while she is firmly within her own reality, some of which I agree with, some of it that seems a bit of fantasy or misunderstanding, I have in my mind there is a bit of divine inspiration that touches her. Among the pains she released today was a wide spectrum of love, however laced with distrust. She spoke of the last words of her father. Which were, “Even though I am going, there is still a war to fight” She announced to the room that she had placed an angel with her father and is firm in her belief that he will be waiting for her and his family in the House of The Father. Some of the things she said were inspiring; some of the things she said were sad and uncomfortable.
Then the man who had looked up when the trembling was happening got up. I still do not know who he is/was. Some of the things he said could have been said of my father and probably many other fathers. His voice boomed out like that of a leader and another all-knowing and loving father. I was impressed and humbled to have heard his words.
Another special song of Franks’s came and the gospel lesson of St. John. As it was read I was reminded of my own father and of myself. Trust in me, I will not leave you, though you may not see me, I will be there, let everything you see tell you that this is true, I will not leave you orphaned, I will not leave you alone, do not be afraid.
As the last hymn was being sung, I stood with the others to sing. As I sang I felt my body moving. There is something similar that happens when I meditate and ground…when I ground with the earth there is a moment of shaking or motion until it is all stabilized and then I move to another grounding point. As I stood there holding the book and singing and this intense motion seemed to take place, I looked up at one point and I must have really been moving since people were looking up at me….and I mean really looking at me.
Often I wonder… how many people out in the world are like me or would be like me or have been like me… I wonder how many people out there that think my experiences and accounts of what happens to me and with me. The ones that refuse to believe or dare not; I wonder how many of them even are aware of what is around them, these things could be happening to them as well…they just do not notice. Too busy doing the things they are told to do, busy doing what is expected, busy living by standards that possibly are not their own instead of living the life they were born to live; or at the very least seeing if there was something else for them in their life.
Perfect husband, the perfect wife, two children and a dog…a house, a boat, a car, taxes, bills, arguing about bills and feeling and who is going to do the dishes next. And when they are faced with death they say why me, why him, why her…why so soon, why can’t I keep living, what did I do that was so bad to take my life away. They wonder. And they die anyway. You will die anyway. You will die if you have love, you will die if you are alone, you will die if you are famous, as you will if you are poor, you will die if you live off the charity of others, as soon as you will die with rooms of riches – all men may not have been created equal but they will all die equally, they will all die assuredly and without reservation.
Death: the ultimate equalizer.
Magi Goes To Church Part I
Magi Goes To Church 4/17/07
I will refrain from putting my past history with churches in general and The Church specifically. It would take up too much room. I love churches. I like being in them. I especially like being in them when the minister or priest has an excellent voice. Anyways….that all will be for another day.
Currently… and for the past 11 years or so I am only in a church when there is a funeral. The amount of funerals I attend is somewhat high, although I am sure there are others that must attend more and I am not alone in this regard. Today I was in the “Federated Church” I have only been in that church one other time. It is small and quaint with several very old paintings and prints on the walls. It is a humble and sturdy place of worship for those that are moved to do so.
I did not know most of the people there. Some of my family and the close family of the deceased were there but the extended family, friends and others I did not know. Except the funeral directors of course….I know them very well. I am writing this because…well … because I think what happened to me today is important….maybe only to me, I’m not sure…but I feel I should write. I am not a follower of any religion; however, I do have my past history with Christianity and Catholicism; though it seems generally on a whole different level than the majority of people I talk to.
As I walked inside I met a woman in robes, she had been Frank’s, the departed, minister there for a good amount of time and had come back for this day, but at the time I did not know that. I had not met her before. This was the first curious thing that happened to me, as I took the last step inside she was there and smiled. I smiled back and she took my hand and the first words she said were, “Oh, I’m glad you made it.” So I figured you know…these are the things she says to people. There were a lot of people packed in that place and not many places to sit. Being that I was there for the widow and her grandchildren and they had already a place all together, I was looking around for a good spot. The minister lady touched my arm and told me she saved a spot for me and indicated to where it was dead center of the room. I thought that was odd…but it was the only place left at the time. Julie must have told her I would be coming.
As I sat there, taking the place in, I felt that old familiar feeling come over me. The quiet feeling, the one that somewhat lulls you into relaxation, as if you are being cradled and soothed. The minister shortly got up after the gathering music came to a soft end. He was an average man, a bit rotund, and not to be rude but when he first started speaking the opening prayer I was a bit disappointed. He had a distinct femininity in his voice, it seemed. Not that this is bad, it is just not what I expected.
Throughout the opening hymn, and the scripture, the Word of Grace, the greetings and the first prayer I meditated as usual. Though I did have my eyes closed. They had a woman sing a special song, one of many Frank had picked for his day. I watched her as she sang, I have never seen her before and she seemed quite angelic up there in the front and also seemed she was holding back, probably due to the size of the room. She was a small lady, petite, but I have a feeling her voice could fill an auditorium regardless of any type of sound equipment.
As I listened to the readings of Isaiah and Revelations I also meditated, in my way, upon the words and when it came for everyone in the room to read Psalm 23, I felt I was drifting away. There seemed to be a lot of male voices, more than what were actually present. I must remember that the men here, mostly farmers and in general tough men have large booming voices and those that have good faith generally tend to carry you away with their words when in an emotional time.
I heard (and was also saying) the words, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” I opened my eyes. The next words, “I will fear no evil” came and I felt a distinct presence that seemed to fill the entire building. I looked forward to the tapestries on the wall in front of me, as the Psalm was read I started seeing patterns in that tapestry. It was of three stalks of wheat and a bunch of grapes. There were thirteen grapes. Triangles and circles seemingly jumped out at me everywhere. I looked into that bunch of grapes, shaped as a triangle, I saw triangles within it and of course the circles and the circles showed me a pattern and I started thinking about the Tree of Life. The thought came that I wondered which circle I was, where in the tree was I at, where do I go, where do I fit.
Breath of Isis – Magi Modification
One of the first meditations I modified, combining techniques from different traditions/areas.
Magi’s Breath of Isis
The beginning is based on a common breathing strategy that may be tough to learn…but is extremely beneficial. It was the first breathing technique I have ever learned and the hardest. I used to sit for hours practicing it but it is not necessary to practice that much.
The breathing is rather simple, but not easy. You breathe in one nostril and out the other…filling yourself from the bottom up before you exhale. When you inhale again, you inhale from the nostril you just exhaled from. It is slow, deliberate and alternating. In through the left, out through the right, in through the right, out through the left.
Once you can breathe like this without having to gasp for air and without getting dizzy and have it under control, be mindful to take it into your center. Center of the body, that is..this is where the breath comes to and comes from.
The visualization is all about relaxing and basically getting rid of negative stuff and filling yourself with good stuff. If you have another breathing method and or center/grounding method you can do that too. This nostril breathing has a lot more to do with control and patience than much else, at least for me, so I do not rush.
So…while you breathe you start saying in your head something like, as I inhale, I draw in light and goodness from the universe and fill myself with it to the core of my being. As you exhale you say, as I exhale, I breathe out all pain, fear and negativity…. This can take several days to actually do while you are breathing correctly.
After you can do the breathing and the first few reiterations and feel large muscles relax…it’s time to relax more (Ideally…all I have explained so far…takes like a minute or two…if that long).
Contine with the breathing (always).. next you visualize a ball of blue light that comes in from the top of your head…you guide it in, being aware of where it is going… so in your mind it would go something like… I see a big blue sphere of sticky positive energy entering my head, as it passes through all parts of me, all negativity is stuck to it…then you guide it through your entire body. It helps that you say it in your head…every single major body part… neck, shoulders, upper back, chest, middle back…each arm, leg, hand, ankle… you get the idea. If a person is not a very good at visualizing, I can say…after several times of just doing this…couple times a day…soon…by the time you start talking to yourself… you will see it and you will not necessarily have to go through the words.
( ^^The Universe coming into you and gathering all your negativity for dispersion)
In any case the sticky blue light sphere enters the top of your head…travels through the body and goes back out the head.
Then it comes back through your feet…doing the same thing in reverse…except instead of having negativity stuck to it…that it carries out… this time it fills you up with love and light and positivity and exits again through your feet and it is white.
(^^I use the second light visualization as coming up from the Earth)
I find it’s really good if you cannot sleep as well. Consciously relaxing every part of you can put your entire body to sleep by the time you are done.
Best to do this meditation while sitting.
Which brings me to my favorite position. I sit on the floor. With my legs bent in front of me… not “Indian style” but almost… you know that one gym stretching exercise where you sit and you put the soles of your feet together and put your knees on the floor? Heh.. if you can bend that way.. that is generally what I do. Sometimes I will not have the soles of my feet touch though..it depends on how I feel that day. Not sure why. In any case one foot may be slightly in front of the other but they don’t cross.
Ok well posture is important just like it is in life… don’t wanna grow up all hunchbacked. Regarding your butt… I found out there is a lot to know about sitting on it. There are ways to sit that seem ok at first…but the first time you are in meditation for more than a couple hours…it can make a huge difference. Easier to show than describe but I’ll give it a shot.
Ok. Gee. Well if any of you have ridden horses correctly, you’ll understand right away. Ok right now, sit up in your chair, nice and straight with your feet on the floor. Be aware of where you can feel the pressure of the seat on your legs and etc. If you are sitting “correctly” for my position, and you are sitting all the way back in your chair, it should not feel like your butt is sitting…that is.. you should feel no pressure in your lower back. A lot of people sit “rolled down”… when you are on a horse sitting like this… it is the signal to stop…that is.. when you sit properly on a horse, you are sitting up and when you want it to stop you “roll” your butt down. That is the way most people sit, unfortunately. And if you are ever on a horse again and it will not move.. sit up straight first LOL
Ok…sorry off topic. If you don’t understand what I mean… just experiment.. when you find the spot where there is no strain nor pressure on your lower back nor butt.. that’s the spot, some of us might have to tuck our tummy in for no strain on the back…lower abs and lower back are connected.
Ok so back is straight, you’re on your butt properly… shoulders should be back and relaxed, chin tucked in some.. but not like.. in in… you know.. straight..like inspection in the Army lol. (keep the line of your G.I cap parallel to the ground)
Your hands… I keep them in my lap kinda.. relaxed, they come together in front of my tummy…palms up, one on top of the other. Usually right over left. I suppose it could be either way…it’s just the way I do it.
So far that’s the basis of most of my meditations that I have come up with by myself. Or similar…have no idea if they have the same effects on others, do what is comfortable for you.
Now specifics for the Breath of Isis and a disclaimer: I came up with this before I read stuff on Isis, quite a while ago and I think I did pretty decently for going by the seat of my pants and intuition.
I always sat toward the east with this…right away in the morning.
So.. you say (to yourself)…Lady of Everything, I draw in Your Divine Presence…as you do that you inhale fully all the way to the bottom (filling from the bottom up).. and move your hands around until they are above your head with their backs toward each other. It should be fluid, smooth, not too fast… and you stay there while you continue to fill up.
Then you say (to yourself) as I exhale I leave behind all that is not Divine.
Do this as many times as you feel necessary.. so that you feel… as if the Goddess is there and the Divine is within you. Should be heightened energy felt in your arms as it is being drawn in through your hands, down your arms and into your center.
Returning to the original hand position, you… “simmer” in the Divine presence, consciously filling every part of you with it. Generally…when it comes in through your breathing… it is in the midsection (center) at this point you would “grow” it… filling your entire self and sometimes beyond into the immediate space past your skin or further.
It is in doing this conscious directing that you really seep yourself in it. It takes some time to do it…and just when you think you are doing it… the next day… you do it even more…and that goes on. Apparently into infinity. As some of you may find with grounding/centering exercises.
After that is “done” or whatever.. I mean you can take the expansion as far or near as you would like. I like to take it far enough to fill me from within…all the way through and then just be there with it…for as long as I would like.
It should be blissful, in any case.
Meaning & Communication
In the words of the lovely D.H. Lawrence,
“When it comes to the meaning of anything, even the simplest word, then you must pause. Because there are two great categories of meaning, forever seprate. There is mob-meaning, and there is individual meaning. Take even the word bread. The mob-meaning is merely: stuff made with white flour into loaves that you eat. But take the individual meaning of the word bread: the white, the brown, the corn-pone, the homemade, the smell of bread just out of the oven, the crust, the crumb, the unleavened bread, the shew-bread, the staff of life, sourdough bread, cottage loaves, French bread, Viennese bread, black bread, a yesterday’s loaf, rye, Grahm, barley, rolls, Bretzeln, Kringeln, scones, damper, matsen—there is no end to it all, and the word bread will take you to the ends of time and space, and far-off down avenues of memory. But this is individual. The word bread will take the individual off on his own journey, and its meaning will be in his own meaning, based on his own genuine imaginative reactions. And when a word comes to us in its individual character, and starts in us the individual responses, it is a great pleasure to us.”
-Pornography and Obscenity, Harry T. Moore, ed., D.H. Lawrence: Sex, Literature and Censorship, 1953. pp 70-71
If the word “bread” cannot do justice to what it means to us as individuals, how much more frustrating must words be when we try to speak and write of that which is truly most sacred?
We CANNOT describe the sacred accurately with “mob-meaning”. When the sacred speaks to us, it speaks to us as an individual….speaks directly into our heart. Any words used to describe our experience are derivative.
Most often men tend to wrestle with words…in an effort to squeeze more meaning out of them. In so doing, fanaticism and obsessions with forms over substance, and a totally unwarranted, undeserved, sense of spiritual understanding/mission. The words become the source of truth and Truth is skewed.
2 Corinthians 3:6 – “the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life”
Neither spoken nor printed, words do not speak for themselves. They occur in contexts, within contexts, within larger contexts. We, as spiritual human beings, choose which contexts to attend, and which to ignore. In this we put our fallible human judgment at the very core of our task of spiritual interpretation.
Thinking in terms of understanding…
When a person communicates each communication invokes three people per person. In a conversation of two, six are communicating in reality. An illustration….
Two people physically present open a dialogue, there should be six persons actually communicating… let’s count….
1) The person speaking…in this case me.
2) The person listening…in this case…someone else.
That takes care of both physical persons.
3) The person who hears what I am saying with their perception of their reality applied.
4) Me, who hears what I am saying with my perception of my reality applied.
5) The person who hears me with their perception of how I percieve them applied.
6) Me, who hears me with my perception of how I percieve them applied.
When a person interacts with another… they are not only dealing with the material that is put forth…but their perception of the material within their reality….their perception of the person who presents the material… and their perception of what the person presenting thinks of them.
Sounds like a circle.. it does make sense, although I am not sure if my communication is up to par today.
Do we ever really know or understand a person… thoroughly I mean… well even not thoroughly…….. if when we communicate we have all these other things going on…. how could we possibly ever really truly know someone?
Since what/who a person is is one thing….and our loved one’s perceptions are their own….they cannot see or feel through us in entirety… do we only know what we want to know…see what we want to…cover the rest?
